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Not pregnant yet

October 29, 2009


Last month saw several doctor’s appointments and a couple of prescriptions. Nothing is severely wrong, I’m just not like clockwork.

Doctor appointments and pharmacies have a way of getting your hopes up, though. So Tuesday’s single little pink line (as opposed to a pair of them) was a little more disappointing than all of the other single little pink lines.

And so Holy Spirit and I talked about it. And we got my priorities on Him first, and then the rest. And I’m okay.

And then yesterday I caught this on Pete Wilson’s blog. You pretty much know where that’s going as soon as the picture comes up, but I might have still gotten a little teary-eyed.

And then someone that I don’t know and have never met before gave me a very insightful book – that, honestly, looks like a feminist text book from the ’60’s but we’ve all heard the same advice about books and their covers. You’ll probably hear more about this book in the days and weeks to come, but for now I’m just feeling very loved and I want to make sure you’re feeling very loved too.

If you have not turned your life over to Jesus, are not a “Christian,” are not “saved,” are not “a believer,” (choose your lingo) know that – like it or not – there is a very specific, very knowable God whose heart aches, He misses you so. He is not angry with you. You are not too far away. If you were hurt by a church or a “Christian,” I’m sorry – but their anger or hatred was not God’s; they’re messed up too.

Matthew 9:12-13//When Jesus heard that, He said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy and not sacrifice.’ For I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance.”

If you are Jesus’ – however you like to phrase it – remember that you’re loved. You are Christ’s bride, body and temple. He knew what He was doing when He called you. He knew about your pride, your weak will, your lie, your temper – before you did, and He called you, He chose you, and He loves you.

Song of Solomon 4:9//You have ravished My heart, My sister, My spouse; You have ravished My heart with one look of your eyes,

That’s all. Take a step away from all of the anger in your heart, or from the deep Bible study and focused prayer, today, and let God love you. Stop pointing out your faults. Stop apologizing for your garbage. Stop cursing Him and His Church. For one day. I dare you. Hold your head up and be the beloved you were designed to be.

(PS – Please, please spare me your fertility advice. I am not infertile, I’m just not pregnant yet. I don’t need another book or strategy or supplement. I’m deleting emails I haven’t even read at this point, so really – thank you, but just don’t.)

One Comment leave one →
  1. Lex permalink
    October 29, 2009 2:09 pm

    I just realized how that title and that pic look right next to each other. This one came together, title, post, then pic. Hmm. I should change it, but it’s too funny. Maybe tomorrow …

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