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Attention men

September 10, 2009

42-15321150Attention husbands. And wanna-be husbands. This is a very important public service announcement. It will require your undivided attention for a few moments. If you cannot provide your undivided attention at this moment, please come back at a later time when you can.

Disclaimer: My husband is amazing. This is in no way me venting about him. He’s awesome.

Adam was created in the wilderness. He was then moved into the garden. God then stated, “It is not good for man to be alone.” Probably because Adam was quickly destroying the garden. Yes Adam was in need of a companion like himself, yes procreation was going to come up, but I think Adam was also probably leaving his socks everywhere.

“Nesting” is a term that technically refers to very pregnant women, as they prepare their homes for new children. But there’s a level of “nesting” that women – most women, probably not all – want/need to do regardless of children.

Many of the men are now smiling condescending smiles, and that’s what I want to digitally slap you for right now. This is not just me. I can’t tell you how many wives – of all ages – have expressed a similar slap-longing.

This is not a petty issue. This is not because women are vain or materialistic or trite or weird.

Men, you often identify with things outside the home. Your job. Your car. Your hobbies. Your friends. In the same way, a wife’s home is part of her identity. She was made in the garden. Her environment is supposed to be beautiful (to her), comfortable, and inviting.

Husbands and husbands-to-be, please don’t disrespect your wife in this. Please don’t belittle her desire for the house to look nice when guests are coming over. She doesn’t mock the importance of your job, or your hobbies, in front of friends (hopefully). Please don’t belittle all the work she does to keep the place in order.

If she doesn’t want people over because of how the house looks, don’t invite people over. If it really bothers her that you leave dirty dishes out or don’t hang up wet towels (or whatever), don’t reason within yourself that it’s not a big deal – respect her nest. Maybe you pay for it – half of it or all of it – but come on, you remember what your place looked like before you were married. It’s her nest.

And, finally, don’t assume this doesn’t apply to you. She may not know how to talk to you about it, because she’s often made to feel like it’s “no big deal.” Maybe it’s no big deal to you, but it is to her. And it’s painful when someone you love is indifferent (if not insulting) about something that’s important to you. Ask, or just listen. Don’t assume this isn’t you, especially if the woman you love sent you a direct link here.

Ladies, agreed? Or have I found a biased survey group somehow? Guys, got it? I’d love to have some pledges in the comments. “I will no longer take three weeks to mow the lawn.” Or whatever.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. September 10, 2009 1:00 pm

    I’ve been reading along for a while now. I just wanted to drop you a comment to say keep up the good work.

  2. Don Reed permalink
    September 10, 2009 3:45 pm

    I concur, young Alexis.
    Men don’t have a problem with having people over when the house is not picked up, but zoinks, women, do. It’s a different mindset for women. And we should honor that. The wilderness/garden insight was very insightful. Once again you have an awesome post. Atta girl.
    Gotta go clean up a little bit. And it’s not so much my socks as it is really cute, little boy socks and itty bitty little shirts and shorts…

    You’re awesome.

    • Lex permalink
      September 10, 2009 3:51 pm

      Randy – Thanks for the comment!
      DT – I confess, the wilderness/garden thing is from Wild At Heart. Love that book.

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