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an open letter to the ladies

November 12, 2008

(Especially the young, unmarried ladies.)

There are days when I wish I could just round up every Jr. High and High School-aged young lady and have a meeting. Today is one of those days. Short of that:

You are not a sex symbol or object. Your value is not determined by how revealing or tight or trendy your clothing is. You can smile in pictures instead of trying to look disheveled or pouty or alluring.

Your identity is not in the guy you’re with until you’ve taken his name. Your worth is not determined by how many young men are attracted to you. I’d set myself on fire if there were some way to really move this idea into your spirit. Your role is not to flirt with every attractive male you meet. You’re not even obligated to return the attention they give you.

It’s okay if you believe that every guy wants nothing from you but sex. Someday the one who is the one will convince you otherwise. If he can’t, he’s not the one.

Your heart is a liar. “Deceitful above all things and desperately wicked,” is how the Lord phrases it. Don’t listen to it when it tells you you’re in love. God is love. God defines love, not your weak human heart.

There is a time for everything. If you’re a student living with her parents and making minimum wage (if anything), you are not in a time for romance. You are in a time for study, learning, family, growing, and finding your place in God’s kingdom plans. It doesn’t seem exciting because it’s not the stuff of prime time teevee, but if you could see it for what it is you’d be less inclined to try to skip this season. This is your Esther season, your Joan of Arc season, but whether you see it or not, you can’t skip it. Attempting to do so will hurt you and everyone around you for years to come. You can’t skip it, but you can fail at it.

The truth is, God has so much more for you right now. He wants to meet you in prayer. He wants to use you in ways the apostles never dreamed of. He wants to send you out to change lives. You will never again have so much free time, expendable income, energy, and capacity for vision as you have right now – even if it seems like you’re really short on any or all of those things, trust me.

God has so much for you right now. The rest of it is BS distraction because the world and your enemy don’t want you to fight, to do something amazing with your life. The fashion, the impossible beauty standards, the dating, the guys, and the rest of the scene are distractions.

Don’t fall for it. I beg you: Don’t fall for it. If I light myself on fire will you promise not to fall for it? I’m that willing. Don’t fall for it. Don’t fall for it. Don’t fall for it. There is _ so _ much _ more.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. paul permalink
    November 13, 2008 6:31 pm

    I’m not a girl, never have been, but as a recovering youth minister, i resonate with your words. very passionate. i want to forward this on to so many young women to read, another woman’s take. very well done!

  2. Megan permalink
    November 14, 2008 1:22 am

    ditto.
    except for the “I’m not a girl, recovering youth minister” part.

  3. Lex permalink
    November 18, 2008 3:56 pm

    Thanks to both of you. If it strikes at least one young woman … even if I don’t know her … thanks be to God.

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