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brain dump

October 22, 2008

There’s chaos in my brain right now.

Change is coming. I’ve known it for months, but it hit in a way I did not anticipate. I found myself with more downtime than usual several months ago, and asked the Lord about it on a walk one afternoon. He told me to rest because there was a big push coming. I appreciate it when He uses language that I wouldn’t use, because I don’t have to go through those “was that really the Lord?” moments. “Push?” What am I, in labo … oh.

It’s good and I’m excited about it, but it has crashed in on me in a short period of time and I was so overwhelmed yesterday that I think I accidentally got defensive. Not of the way things are, or the status quo – as they say. I just got a little defensive of my sanity, but I’m over it. You can’t do great things for God and maintain your sanity.

And no, I’m not pregnant. I’m wondering if I’ll ever have time to be pregnant.

Which raises another issue I’d like to comment on quickly. The whole, romantic concept of “doing what you love” has gotten out of hand again. It’s like every few months this becomes a hot, motivational topic for blog posts and articles. “If money were no object, what would you do? And why aren’t you doing that now?”

Koom-by-ah, because I’ve got a mortgage.

If you get paid to live out your passion, I’m happy for you. Really. But the rest of us need you to realize you’re very blessed, and stop acting like it’s no big deal. Because it is a big deal and you’re encouraging people to jump headfirst into the foreclosure crisis. For the sake of the economic stability of our nation: shut up.

I know, I know – but I feel a little better now anyway.

In the midst of the chaos and loss-of-sanity I also stumbled across the following. Preparing for a message on stability (laugh it up) I came across this quote from some unnamed pastor on a blog I’d rather not link to (suffice to say there are strains of the emerging church movement that are forgetting the “church” part). I keep trying to end on this when my mind gets out of control, so I’ll end with it here too:

“If you’re not finding God where you are, you’re not going to find Him anywhere else.”

4 Comments leave one →
  1. Lorren permalink
    October 23, 2008 5:15 am

    so did you? in midst of a “brain dump” Wednesday?

  2. Lex permalink
    October 23, 2008 3:52 pm

    Find God? Are you kidding? He won’t leave me alone lately.

    (Which, of course, is great, but it usually means I’m dying to something else inside of me that needs to go and it’s painful. I’m often the little kid that insists I’d rather let my finger get infected and fall off than let my Dad pull a splinter out with a scary-looking needle.)

  3. Life As We See It permalink
    October 26, 2008 1:40 pm

    YOU need to have a baby and that will solve everything :)

  4. Lex permalink
    October 27, 2008 3:35 pm

    Not sure I see the connection there. :)

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