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as i was saying

November 9, 2006

ATF was a good time. It definately sparked something in our youth, and I pray and pray that it continues to burn in them. It’s easy to get excited with a couple thousand of your peers who agree with you, but its hard to maintain that day to day in public schools. I’m confident that same thing is on our youth pastor’s heart, so we’re working toward that end.

The best part about ATF – for me – was the encouragement I found in the Holy Spirit. I know this is where I’m supposed to be right now, and I have a divine new focus on it. That sounds like, “Oh good, it’s good when the Lord encourages us that we’re in the right place. Dum de dum.” I tell you, though, it was (as the song puts it) like water to my soul – like I could suddenly breathe and I didn’t realize I was suffocating. I can’t explain the relief I’ve enjoyed these past days.

I’d been in such a turmoil about being really unhappy at my job, but it pays well so what do you do? I love the youth and I love the worship team, but I have an apartment a husband and a full-time job to look after too so that there isn’t a moment I don’t have three things to do so what do you do? In my desperation to spend some time with my Lord I have an expensive computer program I still don’t know how to use and a sewing machine that’s still in the box, so what do you do? I was a little overwhelmed and a lot lost, but He spoke to me last weekend and assured me that He wants me with the youth right now. It was like one of my godfather’s bear hugs that wrap you up so completely and so tight that you feel like nothing bad can get to you there. “You’re doing fine, and you’re in the right ministry right now. I’ll move you when I want you to move. I’d like to see you more often, and all these things will be added unto you. Relax.” *sigh*

So my focus is Him and His kids. Yes I have to work at this job for a little while more because life causes bills, but He has a plan and I’ll be out of here as soon as that plan allows. (In the meantime, if this is the plan its the best place I can be no matter how terrible it seems.) Yes there are other things I have to take care of at the same time, but now I can see that I do what I have to do so my priority can be loving Him and loving this ministry.

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